always

Daily Prompt: Wonder/030918

Do you ever wonder what would have happened

if we could have made it work?

If we really had tried everything?

We gave up too soon, I know that.

And I still wonder if it will be me and you

again.

I have hope.

And I’ll always carry that hope,

in my backpack full of bricks,

that I’ll save because they’re ours

to build on.

I’m strong enough to carry more,

more than these bricks and more than my hope;

tell me everything and I’ll carry your tears

next to your joy.

I hope you wonder about me,

I hope you carry hope.

 

In reponse to

Wonder

Patronus/Lumos

The silver doe,
I want it tattooed
on my right forearm.
Of course “Always.”
written underneath.
It’s a nod to Severus’ love
for Lily,
but also my love
for you.
And deer earned a place
in my heart long ago,
when we moved
to a tiny little town
named for the skins
that men hung there.
But I’ve never seen
the animal on this mountain;
others say they have.
I saw them more often
in the city where we met,
at the school where we met.
So really this docile creature
intersected my soul
long before
the house on Comanche Drive,
long before I knew
how Severus loved Lily,
long before I picked a tiny reindeer
to hang on a tiny tree,
long before I became
anonymous.
But now the world can know
my name
and later they’ll know me
by the mark on my arm,
the Life Mark,
the Love Mark.

best laid plans

i’ve just created a new rule for myself:
to only ever go to bed before ten PM
under one of two circumstances,
one- i’m seriously ill
two- there is a man i love beckoning
me to bed before ten PM.
tonight, neither is the case
so i’ll stay awake and upright.
but of course, i break
my own rules from time to
time.
not this time,
perhaps some other
time.
and i remember the time
you slept in the living room
when i couldn’t sleep
just because you wanted to
be near me.
and i was an idiot
and didn’t see how
we were falling apart,
or maybe i did and i
was already too far gone
to care.
“i (only) miss you late at night,
when i can’t sleep
and get way too honest.”
but the only part
isn’t true,
i always miss you.
even when, no, especially when
you’re still standing
right in front of me
and my front door
saying goodbyes to little humans
with messy hair.

Alwayses and Nevers

I didn’t say
“Drive safe”
and you didn’t say
“See you on Friday.”

What happened today?

You were frustrated
with J
and then with T also.

Then you sat down,
you never sit down.
Then you said you had to go,
then you started to talk.

Then we didn’t say
the things we always say.

I watched as you
got in the 4Runner.

You looked back at me
as you rolled down the window,
then you looked at me
a second longer
than you should have.

You looked as if you
were torn between
smiling and breaking down.

No sunglasses and
black cowboy boots.

What happened today?