Liberal Use of Links and a Poem

So my “break” only lasted 3 days. I’ve never been very good at taking breaks from things like this. I’ve got too many things in my head that I wanna share. Like the events of the awesome day that today was. A non-chronologically ordered summary of my day:

I wrote two poems today, one short and one long-ish (typical anony style), but I can’t share the long one because I let someone in and for safety sake I want to keep a wall up, even if it’s only paper thin. I had an amazing afternoon talking to an amazing person, H, who I mentioned a week or so ago. We sociologied (yes, no, not a word, I know, but I’m entitled to creative liberty sometimes) M and M while waiting for the buses to return. It had some intense moments, but overall it was pretty chill. We made a game out of tossing rocks at the second M’s empty suitcase. Oh and I bumped into C at the grocery store this AM and told him about my car and he offered to help me paint it, so that’s kind of cool. Went book shopping with my mamma: Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller, The Shack by William P. Young, I Can Read with My Eyes Shut! by Dr. Seuss, ‘What time is it, Mother Bear?’ by Gina Bencraft, and a Tonka board book about numbers and vehicles. Started reading Blue Like Jazz, I’m loving it. When I got home from school, I found that UPS had left me my next book review book. Gonna try H’s sticky note approach while reading it. And in between C and the bookstore, I bumped into a childhood friend, J, at the gas station. He is a story all his own that would take a lot of keystrokes to tell, maybe someday I’ll type it. In between the bookstore and the afternoon with H, there was class, which was pretty good, lots of lively discussion, and no one died, which is always a plus in Sociology class. Capped off the day with a trip to the local bar and grill with my mamma for some late night nachos. Other things happened, I’m sure, but those are the highlights. So many parts of my universe collided today, I had to remember to keep my spacesuit on. And now for my short poem:

Title: “Jaded”

I used to ask a lot of questions.
I ask a lot less now.
It’s because the less I know,
the less there is to like.

Little Town

Little Town, how I dislike you.
Do you ever get tired of being so low?
I mean, look up at those glorious mountains
all around you, do you envy them?
I do. My true love sleeps
on one of those mountains.

Your fields are a thing of beauty though.
On the bus once, C pointed one out,
said he knows the guy who owns it
and he helped clean the place up once.
I’ve been told you are named for these gorgeous expanses.
Squares of green amidst all the brown.

Little Town, how I like you.
Not always, but sometimes.
Especially when I meet C at 6 something AM
and he tells me random facts
about this place I thought I knew so well.
He reminds me how alive you are.

Let me stay as long as I need to.
I don’t mean to hurt you
by wanting to leave,
but I feel like someone else
can offer me more of what I need.
But Little Town, for now it’s you and me.

Small Town Subculture

M on the bus,
she’s a strange one.
Some days she doesn’t
say a word to me,
some days she acts
like I’m her best friend.
She calls my headphones “ears”
and compares me to her daughter.

The cute driver with the tattoos,
do you remember him?
He’s got a wife and five kids.
I know, that surprised me too.
He seems to be able to read
my mood as soon as the door opens.
He remembers my name,
probably because M talks about me.

There’s another M.
He’s kind of into me,
which is weird.
I find nothing likeable about him.
He’s slurring if it’s later than 5 PM.
Plus he wears a Ducks jersey,
if I liked hockey, I’d be a Kings fan.

Then there’s C.
He’s twenty two
and he’s got a beard.
He’s usually covered in grease
and worried about his hair.
I can’t say his name out loud
when I talk to him.

The people on the bus
go “blah blah blah”
“blah blah blah”.
The people on the bus
go “blah blah blah”
all through the town.

Our Song On Repeat

I love you.
How incredibly selfish,
to say those three words.
I’d be setting you up
to break my heart.

I don’t even know
who this poem is about.
I could see myself
falling asleep in his arms,
but yours are still
the safest I’ve ever known.

Why am I still waiting
for you to notice me?
His soul might match mine
as well as yours ever did.
What if I let him in,
only to wake up to you knocking?

Want me, before my heart
convinces me it’s okay.
Okay to love someone new
and okay to give up on you.
Some puzzle pieces remain lost,
while others are found.