Our First Day (Everyday Inspiration, Day 14)

I don’t remember the day,
only the night.
And even that isn’t clear,
just bits and pieces.

It was August twenty seventh,
two thousand eight.
My roommate was on the phone,
yours was sleeping with lights off.

You were barefoot,
wearing t-shirt and jeans
and fixing your guitar,
red electric, I think.

I had on cheap blue flip-flops
and Hello Kitty pajamas.
Was reading Catch-22
and talking of prostitution and warm bodies.

It was a Wednesday
and tomorrow my mom’s birthday.
There was Kyle
and he was reading Twilight.

I was eighteen,
you were sixteen.
I didn’t believe you,
think I asked to see your ID.

I had trouble pronouncing
your last name,
think you said most people do.
I told you about all my double letters.

There was Good Day Sunshine
and I thought you wrote it.
You looked at me funny,
you thought I was joking.

Kyle went to bed;
You and I stayed up.
It was my idea to go to the pool.
You thought to bring a towel, I didn’t.

I don’t remember everything,
like if we talked about stuff that mattered
or just stuff that didn’t.
Just remember the world spun.

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we love thru books and songs

I saw a copy
of Catch 22 in a thrift store.
I picked it up to see
if anyone wrote a story in it.
Empty.
I thought about writing something
for you
and maybe you’d pick the book up
because you thought of me
and the night we first met.
Everything changed that night.

I heard the Last Night
in my headphones
and it hit me,
harder than ever.
You were my reason why.
A promise that I’d be better
someday.
You believed when I didn’t.
But that day
on a dirt road
when I told you
I’d always struggle,
your heart seemed to break, again.

I’m better than I was,
but I’ll never be all better.
At least not in this lifetime.
God’s working on me
and I’m working on me.
You kept me alive
long enough for me to learn to breathe.
That line feels familiar,
like deja vu.
I stayed for you.

A while back
you said J requested a song,
something Ocean.
I wondered if it was Ocean Wide,
I couldn’t tell you though
because I was worried
that it would hurt your heart
or worse,
you’d feel nothing at all.
“We’ll swim in the tears we’ve cried.”

Catch 22

You read me so well.
Even after all this time,
you know what my words mean.
I used to be your favorite book,
but now you only leaf thru my pages once in a while.
New chapters have been written
since the last time you read me cover to cover.

So, whenever you get the courage,
pull me off the shelf,
commit the new lines to memory
and say the old ones out loud,
the ones you still know by heart.

Let every verb and every vowel
linger on your tongue.
Taste every adjective and apostrophe
of my life.

If you turn to page nine thousand nine hundred and two,
you’ll see where I first loved you.
To me that’s more important
than what happened on page eleven thousand three hundred twenty something.

I’ve written you into every chapter.
The R colored ink in my pen never runs out.