Frantic (041918)

My heart beats faster

Than it should

As i lay next to you

And i notice a change in your breath

It’s ’cause we both know we want more

Than just laying next to each other

And we know we’ll give in

To a certain point

Suddenly your lips are nearly touching

My lips

And you make no move to move away

And i ask you if you wish you could kiss me

You take a few nervous breaths

Before you answer-

Yes and more (i’m paraphrasing)

And then we let everything happen

Except the kiss

And everything else you said

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Untitled/021917

Tell me about him.
He was sixteen once,
but then again, maybe he’s only ever been
sixteen.
He loves motorcycles.
And women,
three women.
One me.
Ink under skin, all over.
Vaguely remember owls,
screech owls.
Cigarettes,
the taste of tobacco on his lips.
The scent of bourbon
as he exhales into my hair.
Rough hands rest gently
on me.
A motorcycle accident,
I lived it a thousand times
before it ever happened.
“You hungry?” and “How are you?”
Whispers in the middle of the night
between arms
that keep holding on.
Promises to our children
that we’ll do the best we can
and then try to do better,
and those same promises
are for me too.
He’s twenty-five, a good man.

Blind Following Blind Off a Cliff

You don’t sing in church anymore,
that makes me a little sad.
And I wish you could hear me sing
in the kitchen at midnight
when you’re not home.
You say a soft, “Hi,”
and I wonder why
your arms haven’t been around
me
more often.
My rib cage and soft belly
ache for your arms.
Your alarm goes off,
your alarm goes off,
your alarm goes off,
and I just wanna let you sleep.
The world can wait for you,
they won’t move on without you,
maybe the universe
stands still when you’re not there.
And maybe we all hold our breath
until you come back around.
The center,
something to revolve around,
but it shouldn’t be like that.
Where you lead
I might follow,
even into danger
and heartache.
Snap back to reality
knock you down a peg or two,
to keep myself alive
and safely down from the ledge.

notice posted/return to sender

a week ago you said it’s simple
i said it’s complicated
this week you say it’s complicated
i say it’s simple
we’ve made a mess
but it’s beautiful
you’re wrestling
trying to settle your own heart
i’ve ripped off the label
that said “handle with care”
but i don’t think you’ve noticed
that i can’t break in the same way
i used to
i’m posting a new sign
“free, please take all”
and i’ve drifted back
to the only home i’ve ever known
all you gotta do is
turn on the porch light
and leave the key under the mat