float back to me, please

i notice when you have sunglasses
and i notice more when you don’t
but still i do not look in your eyes
i’m sure that if i do i will forget
how to breathe
and yet i barely remember their color
and question whether my memory
is correct or created
are they the even honey brown
that i’ve always thought they were?
or something else entirely?

you showed me the ring you got
a symbol for our youngest son
you took it off your finger
and handed it to me
my first thought
was to put it on my finger
my left ring finger
stopped myself just in time
and slipped it on my pinkie instead
we talked about the ring a second
before i handed it back to you

tonight was one of those nights
the nights where i forget who we are
forget that we don’t talk often
tonight you smiled, i smiled
tonight you laughed, i laughed
we talked about life
talked about little things
you told me how much you love
riding your motorcycle
and you gotta fix your tire
i told you about my soon-to-be-born nephew
and his name and how unfortunate it is

In response to Eyes.

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All Tied Up, All Un-Done/081016

Knots are a funny thing.
When we were falling in love
my stomach was “in knots”,
but “butterflies” is
a prettier term.
You still give them to me,
butterflies.
We “tied the knot”,
maybe a little too soon.
But I think we
severed our ties
too soon too.
And there was another knot,
a true knot in T’s cord.
Things could have been different,
horribly different,
but that story turned
to the better side
of fate, the best side.
So there aren’t any knots
left in our story,
but it’s still beautiful
without them,
maybe more so than with.

Quotes from On the Road (Everyday Inspiration, Day 12)

So the task for Day 12 of Everyday Inspiration was Critique a Piece of Work and honestly I didn’t want to write a full-on critique, I’ve already learned that I’m not much of a book-reviewer and doing a write-up on a movie or a song didn’t sound appealing either, so I’ll calling this my post for the challenge.

A few weeks ago I started reading Jack Kerouac’s On the Road, tonight I am just pages from finishing it. It has been a pretty intense read. And my two year old now picks the book up off the coffee table and says “Jack Care-oh-wack” in his precious little voice, it’s pretty darn cute. Well anyways, I wanted to share a few of my favorite quotes from the book:

  • “Boys and girls in America have such a sad time together; sophistication demands that they submit to sex immediately without proper preliminary talk. Not courting talk- real straight talk about souls, for life is holy and every moment is precious.”
  • “What is that feeling when you’re driving away from people and they recede on the plain till you see their specks dispersing? -it’s the too-huge world vaulting us, and it’s good-by. But we lean forward to the next crazy venture beneath the skies.”
  • “Dean took out other pictures. I realized these were all the snapshots which our children would like look at someday with wonder, thinking their parents had lived smooth, well-ordered, stabilized-within-the-photo lives and got up in the morning to walk proudly on the sidewalks of life, never dreaming the raggedy madness and riot of our actual lives, or actual night, the hell of it, the senseless nightmare road. All of it inside endless and beginningless emptiness. Pitiful forms of ignorance.”

two boys sitting at a table

T:
a paper and pile of crayons
laid out in front of him
will he draw clouds?
probably not
he doesn’t really draw yet
he sits in his booster seat
putting the crayons back
and dumping them again
but his blond curls
are fluffy this morning
like cumulus

J:
he could tell you about clouds
how they are made
we read a book about weather
and he remembered
and we talked about
where water goes
when the sun dries it
and where rain comes from
he knows evaporation
sometimes he remembers condensation
and babies come from volcanoes

*In response to Clouds