we love thru books and songs

I saw a copy
of Catch 22 in a thrift store.
I picked it up to see
if anyone wrote a story in it.
Empty.
I thought about writing something
for you
and maybe you’d pick the book up
because you thought of me
and the night we first met.
Everything changed that night.

I heard the Last Night
in my headphones
and it hit me,
harder than ever.
You were my reason why.
A promise that I’d be better
someday.
You believed when I didn’t.
But that day
on a dirt road
when I told you
I’d always struggle,
your heart seemed to break, again.

I’m better than I was,
but I’ll never be all better.
At least not in this lifetime.
God’s working on me
and I’m working on me.
You kept me alive
long enough for me to learn to breathe.
That line feels familiar,
like deja vu.
I stayed for you.

A while back
you said J requested a song,
something Ocean.
I wondered if it was Ocean Wide,
I couldn’t tell you though
because I was worried
that it would hurt your heart
or worse,
you’d feel nothing at all.
“We’ll swim in the tears we’ve cried.”

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