words after midnight

i realized why
all of the “poems” about you
sound like they’re no good-
i’m intimidated
by the way you handle your words,
the way you seem to be a master of ELA,
a black belt.

while i struggle
to even make it
to class on time
and i start to think
things need to rhyme.

but i lost my textbook
at a library book sale,
then again
maybe i left it there
on purpose.

and real life
just doesn’t cut it
with words about you.

i guess it’s because
you’ve only ever existed
as words back-lit by white.

mostly i have no form,
but my free-form gets stuck
in a cage
when the words drift
in your direction.

someday i’ll get over it
and stop writing poor poetry
about you, to you, for you.

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Quotes from Blue Like Jazz

On Saturday I started reading Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller. It is amazing. I want to read everything he has ever written. I’ve only got a few pages left and I seriously want to just start reading it again as soon as I finish, it is that great. I can’t type the whole book here because that would be plagiarism or something like it and plus it would take a really long time, but I do want to share some of my favorite parts so far.

  • “Sometimes you have to watch somebody love something before you can love can love it yourself.”
  • “I spent an entire week feeling bitter because I couldn’t breathe underwater. I told God I wanted to be a fish.”
  • “(They hang there, the stars, like notes on a page of music, free-form verse, silent mysteries swirling in the blue like jazz.)”
  • “I want to marry a girl who, when I am with her, makes me feel alone. I guess what I am saying is, I want to marry a girl whom I feel completely comfortable with, comfortable being myself.”
  • “What great gravity is this that drew my soul towards yours?”
  • “Too much of our time is spent trying to chart God on a grid, and too little is spent allowing our hearts to feel awe.”
  • “They were books themselves, all of them were books, and what was so wonderful is that to them, I was a book too.”