best laid plans

i’ve just created a new rule for myself:
to only ever go to bed before ten PM
under one of two circumstances,
one- i’m seriously ill
two- there is a man i love beckoning
me to bed before ten PM.
tonight, neither is the case
so i’ll stay awake and upright.
but of course, i break
my own rules from time to
not this time,
perhaps some other
and i remember the time
you slept in the living room
when i couldn’t sleep
just because you wanted to
be near me.
and i was an idiot
and didn’t see how
we were falling apart,
or maybe i did and i
was already too far gone
to care.
“i (only) miss you late at night,
when i can’t sleep
and get way too honest.”
but the only part
isn’t true,
i always miss you.
even when, no, especially when
you’re still standing
right in front of me
and my front door
saying goodbyes to little humans
with messy hair.

sometimes other people’s words fit better than my own

no poem from me at the moment, but a few lines from my current favorite song:

i miss you like the summer, right now i think i need you here, but i don’t really need you, i’ll get through the winter without you

the song is called Summer and the band is called Real Friends. sitting here wishing i could see them live, hoping the stars align and a few “pretty pleases” will get me there.

Untitled/072416 (Everyday Inspiration, Day 5)

“I only miss you late at night when I can’t sleep and get way too honest.”

-Real Friends, Cover You Up

i think i’m over it
think i can stop reading now
i’ve played this game out
it’s not fun anymore
and i see how incredibly
fucked up it really is

the rest of the song doesn’t fit,
but that line does
i don’t think of you in the daylight
at least not often
but come ten PM
you’re on my mind

and i’m just a stupid girl
with a stupid crush
on a stranger
and there’s another line
that fits me well:

“i’ll keep sleeping sideways
in my empty bed
to fill the lonely space,
i’m just a kid
with too much lonely space”